Yesterday I got the urge to see exactly how un-creditworthy I am and applied for an auto loan through eBay’s Financial Center. I hit “submit” and was instantly rejected for my loan–and I only wanted to borrow $6,000. Here’s what I think happened:

1. I just declared myself bankrupt and this site is for people with credit histories better than mine.

2. My primary income (from the university where I work) is low–less than $2,000 a month in fact. Even though my part-time job pays well and brings my monthly income over $2,000 a month, I don’t think lenders give it as much weight.

3. I’ve applied for credit more than once in the last six months.

4. I applied individually. They mentioned that getting a car loan with a trusted co-signer would increase my chances of being approved.

Normally I wouldn’t hesitate to ask my parents to co-sign for me, but since I am not telling them about my bankruptcy, I think they’d find out by looking at the loan paperwork.

After pouting and thinking about my failure for a while, I decided that if I want to buy a car I should save up a hefty down payment so I can keep my interest payments down. Also, waiting to get a car loan will give me time to check and correct things in my credit report.

It’s still hard to believe I can’t get a measly $6,000 car loan. When I think about all the extra money I will have to spend on higher interest rates and annual fees it makes me angry at myself for getting into trouble with credit cards. But at least that debt is gone. And I don’t think I could have gotten that car loan with my credit history BEFORE I filed chapter 7 anyway.

I keep telling myself that this whole experience is an opportunity to really fix my finances from the ground up, one step at a time.

I should stop feeling sorry for myself and concentrate on the positive: my $30,000 debt is gone, and I am able to saved money now!